What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? "Your mother ate us out of house and home."
Missing Deacon
Deacon Roberts was leaving the morning service one Sunday. At the door the pastor reached out and shook Roberts' hand, "By the way Deacon, you need to join the army of the Lord."
"I'm already in the army of the Lord, Pastor."
"Then why do I see you only at Christmas and Easter?"
Deacon Roberts whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH
High soprano Karen Phillips once sang in the choir, but for several services she was in the congregation and not in the loft. When asked why she no longer sang, she explained, "One Sunday when I was home sick with a cold, several folks asked if the organ had been repaired."
Top Seven Church Oxymorons
Brief meeting
Pastor's day off
Early sign-up
Clear calendar
Volunteer waiting list
Realistic budget
Concluding remarks
(All jokes from "The World's Greatest Collection of Church Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.)